The End of Civilization As We Know It: Part 2

Sorry folks, due to me realizing that I have very little time to fix the shamble that is my Academic Career. I will not blog about my predictions as predicted. I will, however, cut’n’paste the AIM conversation I made them in, plus a few extras. Note: the last four characters of all screen names have been edited out to protect those who are involved from those who would do us harm, you know what you is.

In order of appearance:
Norahs……Sharon, older sister
Ssor………Ross, (Lard Bobbo)
JSon……...Jason, elementary school best friend

Norahs**** signed on at 3:19:12 PM.
Ssor**** (3:19:42 PM): bwuhahaaa, i've been waiting 4 u
Norahs**** (3:20:10 PM): great
Ssor**** (3:20:42 PM): did im allow u 2 see what all i've typed while u were gone
Norahs**** (3:20:46 PM): yes
Norahs**** (3:20:50 PM): this time :-)
Ssor**** (3:21:52 PM): i will not allow it 2 go unseen, so i saved it as a word 97-03 document, because 07 is NOT backwards compatible
ATTENTION (3:22:11 PM): Transfer complete: strange saturn.doc.
Ssor**** (3:22:32 PM): u may have 2 control+click 2 see the links
Norahs**** (3:22:43 PM): right
Ssor**** (3:27:12 PM): r u reading, and looking at the pictures
Norahs**** (3:27:19 PM): yes
Ssor**** (3:27:41 PM): i just love what i put at the end
Ssor**** (3:29:20 PM): r u done yet
Norahs**** (3:29:26 PM): almost
Norahs**** (3:30:10 PM): you're silly
Ssor**** (3:30:53 PM): it just needs the 1 last thing...and...i dunno....becomes a tourist trap
Norahs**** (3:31:03 PM): lol

As I will NOT provide a link 2 a file on my computer, I will also cut’n’paste the document I wrote.

Oh, and since u probably won't get this, I’ll put as much into is as I can ;-) Saturn is by far the strangest place in the solar system, which makes me want 2 go there, even though it is "feasibly" impossible at this time (oh please tell me I can go before I hit 90, please oh please oh please) http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/videos/video-details.cfm?videoID=167 evidence that Saturn’s rings are just great bunches of galactic kitty litter http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2984 at least 1 of Saturn’s rings gets bad reception http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2347 another 1 of its rings is snagged on something http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2335 and that same ring appears 2 be fraying at the edge 2, Saturn’s gotta be using cheap fabric http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2369 and some of its other rings appear 2 be sports fans, and do The Wave when they see a small moon http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/catalog/PIA08389 “and just one more thing,” I know that’s not who they named it 4, but c’mon :-D http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Saturn_hexagonal_north_pole_feature.jpg that Saturn itself seems 2 have a interest in geometric shapes http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2575 1 of its ice moon's, Enceladus, seems 2 have sprung a leak http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2276 and it appears 2 have been “leaking” 4 quite some time http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=2294 that another 1 of its moon's, Mimas, appears 2 be a giant star wars fan-geek http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rings_of_Rhea it now seems 2 be the only planet that has a moon, Rhea, w/ it's own set of rings....seemingly http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/images/image-details.cfm?imageID=3001 this recent news about Titan is the only thing so far this year, that me say aloud "cool beans" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iapetus_%28moon%29 and all this is in the presence of the great space walnut itself, Iapetus the only thing I feel is missing is a moon in the shape of a donut, but even I think that’s unlikely I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve had writing it

Ssor**** (12:38:05 AM): http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/videos/video-details.cfm?videoID=167
proof that there IS such a thing as galactic kitty litter
Ssor**** (12:38:43 AM): don't worry about it, my mind's been going 4 years
Ssor**** (12:38:58 AM): although it is interesting
Ssor**** (12:41:25 AM): strangley enough, it is also in the same region as the great space walnut
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iapetus_%28moon%29
JSon**** signed off at 12:44:59 AM.
JSon**** is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
JSon**** signed off at 10:14:45 AM.
JSon**** is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
JSon**** signed on at 5:04:24 PM.
Ssor**** (5:04:44 PM): top of the mornin 2 ya
JSon**** (5:04:48 PM): Sup?
Ssor**** (5:06:17 PM): after what i typed 2 u, it inspired me 2 expand upon it (originally as an im 2 my sister sharon, but i expanded it 2 much and was unable 2 send it, so i copy'n'pasted it into word
JSon**** (5:06:26 PM): Cool.
JSon**** (5:07:02 PM): What is it?
Ssor**** (5:07:42 PM): a list of weird things about saturn, and links 2 picture evidence of those things
Ssor**** (5:08:10 PM): i tried 2 send it, but it failed
JSon**** (5:08:14 PM): Frick.
Ssor**** (5:09:09 PM): maybe it's because i still have it up...i'll close it's window and try again
ATTENTION (5:09:37 PM): Transfer complete: strange saturn.doc.
Ssor**** (5:09:42 PM): there we go
JSon**** (5:10:47 PM): Cool.
Ssor**** (5:11:12 PM): oh, i was going 4 hilarious, or mayge a funny
JSon**** (5:11:27 PM): Oh Saturn.
JSon**** (5:11:32 PM): anyway, I'll see you later Ross.
JSon**** (5:11:36 PM): BYEEEEEEE!!!
JSon**** signed off at 5:11:40 PM.
JSon**** is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
JSon**** signed on at 10:08:19 PM.
Ssor**** (10:09:07 PM): so how r my interpretations of things found around saturn go 4 ya?
JSon**** (10:09:19 PM): Wow.
JSon**** (10:09:21 PM): I love Saturn.
JSon**** (10:09:24 PM): Sega Saturn.
Ssor**** (10:09:47 PM): pleah, i don't even have my ps2 anymore
Ssor**** (10:09:59 PM): it be in ohi
JSon**** (10:10:07 PM): hahaahaha
JSon**** signed off at 10:14:45 PM.

Now, onto the future…

Norahs**** went away at 4:50:00 PM.
Ssor**** (8:28:33 PM): i've been wanting 2 say this, but haven't found an appropriate reason 2, and this is not even what i had in mind, but close nuff
Auto Response from Norahs**** (8:28:34 PM): tv or something
Ssor**** (8:28:41 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quasi_Universal_Intergalactic_Denomination
Ssor**** (8:29:22 PM): the end of civilazation as we know it, but has the promise that the next 1 will be entertaining
Ssor**** (9:48:32 PM): while i'm still on the topic of space, i have a somewhat frightening prediction: before mankind ventures 2 other solar systems, we will have named at least 4 moons here after characters from harry potter
Ssor**** (9:48:58 PM): and i also predict that it happen sooner than we think
Ssor**** (9:51:45 PM): i'm pretty sure they've already named several moons of uranus after characters from shakespere's a mid summer's night dream
Ssor**** (9:52:23 PM): ...oh, apparently, uranus is the odd man out when it comes 2 moon names
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moons_of_Uranus
Norahs**** (9:57:36 PM): interesting
Ssor**** (9:58:45 PM): i can just see it, a hermionie, a weasley, definatly a potter, and maybe even a snape as well
Norahs**** (9:58:54 PM): lol
Norahs**** (9:58:59 PM): malfoy?
Ssor**** (9:59:10 PM): oh sure, don't see y not
Norahs**** (9:59:19 PM): :-)
Ssor**** (10:00:12 PM): it's like i said about the space money, it's the end of civilization as we know it, but the next 1 will have a sense of humor
Norahs**** (10:00:23 PM): lol
Norahs**** (10:00:26 PM): we hope
Ssor**** (10:04:39 PM): what is ur prediction of this new civilization
Ssor**** (10:04:51 PM): and make it good>:O
Norahs**** (10:04:58 PM): i dunno
Ssor**** (10:20:53 PM): well i'll give u another 1, and we may be able 2 live long enough 2 see this: most of the "privatley owned" space agencies (like bigelow areospace, and virgin galactic) r putting alot of research into the building and deploying "space hotels" now all examples i've seen so far were based on inflatable modules, i see 1 w/ centrifugal sections, the main section naturally being the habitat section rooms, rooms, laundry, vending/ice machines, that sorta thing, section 2 being the restaurant, "The Galaxy Restaurant: Fine Dining wit A View of the Universe", and last but not least section 3, recrational facilities, weight room and centrifugal pool (i.e. not a square shaped pool, 1 that goes all the way around, in essance: the infinate pool), i don't know about u, but that pool sounds pretty BLEEPing awsome
Ssor**** (10:21:44 PM): and all it takes is 4 someone 2 have the idea...which unfortunatley i've just had
Norahs**** (10:22:06 PM): lol
Norahs**** (10:22:17 PM): that pool does sound awesome
Ssor**** (10:24:51 PM): and i want it 2 be a special kind of pool water, like something along the lines of if a solar flare hit, it's actually safer 2 be in the pool w/ ur head under water than it is 2 be anywhere else on the station, y'know that they put a little 2 much thought into the wrong thing
Ssor**** (10:25:16 PM): ...sorta thing
Norahs**** (10:25:18 PM): :-)
Ssor**** (10:36:31 PM): uuh, way 2 prepare food, sounds like "saw-tayed" what's it called--er--spelled
Norahs**** (10:36:42 PM): saute
Ssor**** (10:36:48 PM): thank u
Norahs**** (10:36:54 PM): the e has an accent over it
Norahs**** (10:37:00 PM): but no one ever puts it
Ssor**** (10:37:01 PM): ooooOOOoooh
Ssor**** (10:37:05 PM): hahaha
Norahs**** (10:37:09 PM): but that's why it's pronounced that way
Ssor**** (10:43:42 PM): my next prediction, and i'm pretty sure it's been made before, the first extraterrestrial life discovered by modern man (that's such a weird prase, like ancient man's gonna discover some after we do)....marine life on an ice moon, and what will we inevidably end up doing w/ it? "...ok, and will that be sauted or fricaseed?"
Norahs**** (10:44:01 PM): lol
Norahs**** (10:44:10 PM): are you blogging this stuff?
Norahs**** (10:44:15 PM): cuz you should
Norahs**** (10:44:19 PM): if you're not
Ssor**** (10:44:19 PM): i should but no
Ssor**** (10:44:32 PM): gotta remember this stuff though
Norahs**** (10:44:46 PM): well, just save this conversation
Ssor**** (10:45:19 PM): and if i make any more, or if u finally make URS, i will save again
Norahs**** (10:45:30 PM): lol
Norahs**** (10:45:36 PM): i won't
Norahs**** (10:45:41 PM): at least, not tonight
Norahs**** (10:45:46 PM): i'd hafta think on it
Ssor**** (10:47:50 PM): please do, and remember: more often than not, mankind takes the less intelligent path of doing things
Norahs**** (10:48:01 PM): too damn tru
Norahs**** (10:48:03 PM): e
Ssor**** (10:49:18 PM): like me 4 instance, i got a paper due monday, got a paragraph and a half done, and what am i doing about it, talking 2 u about a funny future
Norahs**** (10:49:44 PM): so, you really do like packing spoons
Ssor**** (10:50:16 PM): i must, damn subconscience
Ssor**** (10:56:58 PM): oh, and i originally intended 4 my "end of civilization" 2 be used on the cartoon: in the not 2 distant future, our hero: anti-hero/villian/evil genious (mmm hmm) Lard Bobbo, see something on a space station, that reads "Bob's Intergalactic Bread & Bistro" and says "Oh good lord! It's the end of civilization as we know it...and yet, holds the promise that the next one will be entertaining."
Ssor**** (10:58:09 PM): *that should be "at the very least be entertaining"
Norahs**** (10:58:30 PM): k

Ssor**** (11:55:43 PM): i don't know if this should count as a prediction, but as 4 fixing problems, the 1s that last the longest, or left in place the longest usually turns out 2 be the stop gap solution that was 2 keep whatever from failing completley before before a more permanet solution could be devised, and then someone forgot about it
Ssor**** (12:00:09 AM): "what is this....chewing gum?!? how did they get it outside? and how did they get it moist inna vaccuum!?!"
Norahs**** (12:00:39 AM): lol
Ssor**** (12:00:40 AM): i can believe it, that's the sad part
Ssor**** (12:02:52 AM): we can't go 2 other planets, yet we can probably devise a way 2 get warm, moist chewing gum in the cold vaccuum of space 2 plug up a busted fuel line
Ssor**** (12:04:36 AM): talk about doing the "less intellegent" thing, keeping gum moist in space is something 2 do when u're dead bored
Norahs**** (12:05:48 AM): lol

Norahs**** (2:25:06 AM): ok, it's bedtime
Norahs**** (2:25:08 AM): night
Ssor**** (2:25:32 AM): ok, i'll blog about the future, and how it will be...
Norahs**** (2:25:40 AM): lol
Norahs**** (2:25:41 AM): ok
Norahs**** (2:25:44 AM): have fun
Ssor**** (2:25:50 AM): ...really just like now, except in space
Norahs**** (2:26:03 AM): lol
Ssor**** (2:26:15 AM): boy r we, as a speicies, unimaginative
Norahs**** (2:26:40 AM): just as long as it isn't like the movies, or anime
Ssor**** (2:27:01 AM): oh, what's wrong w/ anime future
Norahs**** (2:27:02 AM): can you just see it if cowboy bebop was the future?
Norahs**** (2:27:08 AM): or gundam???
Norahs**** (2:27:13 AM): vandread?
Ssor**** (2:27:19 AM): what's wrong w/ big eyes
Norahs**** (2:27:27 AM): outlaw star?
Ssor**** (2:27:27 AM): ...well no not really
Norahs**** (2:27:31 AM): trigun?????
Ssor**** (2:28:12 AM): be more like babylon 5, our colonies will want 2 break away from us
Norahs**** (2:28:20 AM): lol
Norahs**** (2:28:31 AM): well, that's kinda gundam-esque
Ssor**** (2:29:06 AM): does it really take outside perspective 4 us 2 realise the WE don't even humans w/ a 10 ft pole
Ssor**** (2:29:17 AM): *want 2 touch
Norahs**** (2:29:21 AM): lol
Ssor**** (2:30:40 AM): oh, the space currency, did u think good, bad, and the ugl--i mean indifferent?
Norahs**** (2:31:17 AM): indifferent
Ssor**** (2:31:57 AM): what i have, seen...the 3-4 people who i found said somethin: bad
Ssor**** (2:32:23 AM): my thought slightly good

Norahs**** returned at 5:37:19 PM.
Norahs**** (5:37:40 PM): back
Norahs**** (5:38:27 PM): i liked your post
Ssor**** (5:38:46 PM): thaks
Ssor**** (5:39:40 PM): someone needed 2 defend the quid, just don't know if i was the right man 4 the job
Norahs**** (5:39:47 PM): lol

Now here’s the extra.

Ssor**** (8:45:19 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neanderthal_Genome_Project
do u think we'll abuse this knowledge?
Ssor**** (8:45:42 PM): *c'mon army of cavemen-clones!*
Norahs**** (8:45:55 PM): lol
Ssor**** (8:48:06 PM): technically it isn't human cloning, so it would be legal
Norahs**** (8:48:15 PM): lol
Ssor**** (8:54:17 PM): the trick is u can't really clone from a sample....can u hook supercomputers together so they can--hook a couplea supercomputers together and have them work out an ordinary (start at the basics then work ur way 2 the advanced) strand of neanderthal dna and use it 2 fertalize an egg and put it into (at first) a human surrogate mother, and bada bing, bada boom: neanderthal babé
Ssor**** (8:55:41 PM): it's ideas like this i justification of portraying myself as a cartoon supervillain in my own cartoon
Ssor**** (8:55:56 PM): *that i find
Ssor**** (9:00:19 PM): uuh yeah...
Ssor**** (9:01:19 PM): r u even paying attention?
Norahs**** (9:01:26 PM): not really
Ssor**** (9:02:26 PM): i can understand if u don't think i'm funny, but not 2 tell me u don't, i don't, u don't....whatever i just said
Norahs**** (9:02:41 PM): lol
Ssor**** (9:03:28 PM): what do u think of neanderthal babé
Norahs**** (9:03:48 PM): sounds plausible
Ssor**** (9:04:12 PM): all u need is an evil genious
Norahs**** (9:04:25 PM): lol
Norahs**** (9:04:29 PM): right
Ssor**** (9:09:41 PM): y can't we have more evil geneticists, what is it that makes geneticists turn good, cure 4 all diseases, betterment of all mankind, religious scruples (oh THAT again, wherefore doth it say "knowledge be the fruit of satan?" "genesis?" "SHUTUTH THINE MOUTH!"), i mean what?
Norahs**** (9:10:01 PM): lol
Ssor**** (9:11:30 PM): last time i checked we're already being punished 4 that
Ssor**** (9:11:47 PM): wait, i think i'm off track
Ssor**** (9:12:40 PM): dammit, typing really loud inna religious voice put me inna religious mindset
Norahs**** (9:12:51 PM): lol
Ssor**** (9:15:15 PM): gotta think cloning neanderthals to do thy--imean--MY bidding, cloning neanderthals to do my biddi--i wonder if neanderthal women look cute inna bathining suit.....oh hey, i'm getting there:-)
Norahs**** (9:15:32 PM): geez
Ssor**** (9:16:00 PM): at least that was a very NONreligious thought
Norahs**** (9:16:12 PM): true
Ssor**** (9:19:52 PM): we at least i restrained myself from saying bikini or lingiere, or however it's spelled
Norahs**** (9:20:06 PM): close enough
Ssor**** (9:22:44 PM): if u could do some evil genetics, what would u do?
Norahs**** (9:23:01 PM): not sure
Ssor**** (9:23:13 PM): what would J&E do
Norahs**** (9:23:23 PM): lol
Ssor**** (9:40:44 PM): i'm feeling tired, and it's not even 10 yet
Ssor**** (9:41:55 PM): these things happens in cycles y'know, come beddyby time, i'll be laying there awake w/ my eyes closed 4 3-4 hours
Norahs**** (9:42:51 PM): lol
Norahs**** (9:43:00 PM): yeah, i know the feeling

Well, that about does it for the future, cavewomen in bikinis (oh God, I hope they shaved their legs), Sautéed Enceladean Tiger Eels, and Fried Europan Monkeyfish (“This thing’s going to shoot all the way up to Europa! And bring us back a couple of Europa-pean lobsters to grill up!”), and the fifth dwarf planet’s two new moons: Dumbledore and Voldemort (Potter, Weasely, Granger, Snape, and Malfoy were already taken by dwarf planet #4, man those Kuiper Belt Objects get everywhere). Thank you for shopping Bobbo airways, we hope you’ve enjoyed your dinner and a movie, come again soon.

Oh, and just one more thing (wait, when did I become Colombo?)…

Norahs**** is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
Ssor**** (1:16:05 PM): the end of the academic probation year stress-out, having it means that half the time, on the inside, i feel like this cat at 3min, 17sec into this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIK5Gn5HbnU
yet 4 2 class periods in a row, i've felt better about myself after going 2 history class, is this a sign that, if i can, i should at the very least sign up 4 a history minor next year
Ssor**** (2:28:52 PM): went out 2 the bookstore, bought some things i think i may need down the road, and somehow worked in a "said 'hi' 2 a girl i like" thus convincing me that i have only 2 speeds: pratically nil, and "OH MY GOD!!!," so go ahead, wish me Godspeed;-)
Ssor**** (2:47:09 PM): and the saying "hi" 2 the girl probably wasn't a "my confidence finally built up" moment, it was probably a "BLEEP it all, RUN W/ IT!" moment
Norahs**** signed on at 4:59:02 PM.
Norahs**** went idle at 6:49:40 PM.
Norahs**** returned at 7:25:49 PM.
Norahs**** went idle at 7:37:40 PM.
Norahs**** returned at 7:43:49 PM.
Norahs**** went idle at 7:57:24 PM.
Norahs**** returned at 8:06:09 PM.
Ssor**** (8:11:26 PM): did u by any chance got what i sent?
Norahs**** (8:11:48 PM): yes
Ssor**** (8:12:15 PM): i feel like a cat who yells in a human voice
Norahs**** (8:12:23 PM): awww
Norahs**** (8:12:28 PM): poor ross

Until next time… ¡Buenos noches!

The End of Civilization As We Know It

...And yet...the promise that the one that is to come after will, at the very least, be entertaining. Such as I thought after seeing this:

For more information (such as what the hell is it!?!) go here.

These are, or to be more accurate, would possibly be, SPACE COINS! The Quasi Universal Intergalactic Denomination, or QUID (I know what your thinking, "Quid? Isn't that what the British sometimes call a pound? Sorta like when we call a dollar a buck?" yes, that's why they're sticking with it) is intended to be used when mankind finally decides to go and make those other space stations, that Moonbase, and that Mars colony he's been going on about (and womankind turns and says "Riiiiight, and is that before or after you fix that hole in the o-zone like you promised me?") where credit cards, checks, and atms cannot reach, and therefore cannot be used. And in the case of space stations, where coins and their (laughably) sharp edges can potentially cause serious personal injury and structural damage...*nods head*...thus giving new meaning to the term "cold hard cash." Unfortunately, I have yet to find a genuinely positive review of the QUID (closest I got was the neutral-goodness of WIKI) so I guess it's up to me *mutters: cripes!* Let us say that we do get visited by aliens, and let's just they need some change (bit of a stretch, I know, but...what are you gonna do about it?), so what do we give them: A dollar? Nah, the rest of the world hates us enough as it is without us declaring our superiority to the rest of the galaxy. A pound? Nope, same thing with the UK, I think... A euro? Eeeeh, maybe. A couple hundred yen? What? It's not my fault they ain't worth nothing! A dong? *snickers* That one just cracks me up. Hell no I say! Give 'em a QUID, buy 'em a beer, show 'em a good time, but most importantly, ask them what the hell could they possibly need change for!?!?

Well I was going to tell you about some of my predictions for this new way of "knowing" civilization, but oh good lord did I draw this thing on the coins out! But not to worry, I pretty much have them saved onto my computer. So tune in next week when we find out from what mythos will mankind ultimately use to name the last moons of the solar system, how space hotels will make artificial gravity even more fun than zero gravity, what humanity ends up doing to the first extraterrestrial life form it encounters (Oh don't even go there! That's just nasty!), a temporary fix that will boggle the mind, and what else I come up with over the course of the week. See you then.

LARD BOBBO HAS SPOKEN.